The Last days of Kefka Palazzo
by BlackCobraFireElemental
Summary: His life seems grand because he's god, but hes just like everyone else. Plus being a sociopath, a pyromaniac, and having more power than even bill gates could imagine. What could he have done on his last final days before the fight against the returners?


Perfection is a Bore

A Kefka Fanfic

By Black Cobra

A/N: I do not own Kefka or any of the Final Fantasy 6 characters. They are owned by SquareEnix and I do not claim them to be my own.

_Chapter 1: Another day in the World of Ruin_

            Kefka, god of the new world, the World of Ruin, awoke from his slumber. He was tired from all the smiting he has done the other day. He can't remember how many villages he attacked with the Light of Judgment, the power he uses to smite those who oppose his rule. He had forgotten to take the feather out of his hair, and it was crumpled and broken. With a sigh, he threw it out the balcony of his massive tower, made of metal and rock, junk from 1 year ago when the face of the earth was changed.

            Walking towards a cabinet, he opened a drawer and inside was a mother lode of feathers, with colors from the entire spectrum. 'Good thing I keep spares" he thought, taking one and affixing it to the back of his head on his left side, making sure it will stay tight. Smiling in the mirror, he thought to himself about his agenda for the day. Walking next to his bed, he reached his hand toward a piece of parchment on the nightstand, then held it up and read carefully.

**My agenda for each day.******

1. Have breakfast

2. Visit the fanatics at fanatic's tower, smite some of them.

3. Smite some random villages with the Light of Judgement.

4. Convince more people to surrender all hope and accept me as their ruler and god forevermore.

5. Buy milk.

6. Have Lunch, Dinner.

7. Set fire to something just for the heck of it.

"Hmm...better not be a long line like last time at the store. Wouldn't want to smite anyone meaninglessly now would I? …Wait, yes I would! UWEE HEE HEEE!" shouted the jester, walking out the door after donning his green and red robes. On his way out of his room, he saw 2 of his behemoths, massive purple colored beasts with fangs and claws, standing 20 feet high on their hind legs, assaulting each other over a slab of meat. Kefka, growing annoyed by the sound of the 2 overgrown mutated dogs, simply blasted them out of existence with 2 well placed bolts of lightning. "Sigh…there goes 2 more behemoths. Can't these things ever behave? " he says to himself as he walks into his grand dining hall.

            His food is already on the table, a breakfast of eggs, bacon, toast, and a glass. But something was missing. There WAS NO MILK! "GAH! I must have used it all! Well, give me a chance to get out of the tower and blow some pedestrians away…UWEE HEE HEE!" His laughter, sounding much like a hyena's, echoed throughout the tower. Then, walking casually back to his room, he withdrew his less expensive clothes from his closet. He wouldn't want to ruin his good robes with dirt, and if the need to punish some rebels, blood.

            He hurried out the door, on his way to the city of South Figaro. He was sure to find some milk there, as well as some other groceries. His stock in the tower was waning. 'Maybe I should cut the rations for the beasts' he thought, as he cast float on himself and began to hover quickly to his destination. By the time he reached it, his clothes were covered in salt from the ocean spray. 'AUGH! Why must all the cities be on another damn continent? Maybe I should divide them again and make them shift over near my tower…it'll save me money on cleaning these clothes. I hate the ocean..' he was suddenly shot out from his train of thought as he heard a person scream. "AHH! IT'S KEFKA! RUN!" shouted the man, who appeared to be in his late twenties with blonde hair. Kefka hated it when someone points out his presence just because he's god. He has better things to do then watch people cower from him.

            He walked past the running crowds in the city streets, making his way to a small grocery store. Upon entering, everyone ran into the corner and cowered in fear from the mighty mage. He sighed. He was having a bad day so far and he didn't feel like repeating his everyday routine of senseless killing and destruction. He just wanted some milk. Walking up to the cash register, he noticed that no one was there. Screaming at the top of his lungs, he shouted "COME OUT FROM WHERE YOUR HIDING OR I BLAST THIS SORRY VILLAGE AWAY WITH THE LIGHT OF JUDGEMENT!" immediately, the store owner came up from behind the counter where he was hiding. Kefka, pleased that the moron showed himself instead of forcing him to take more drastic measures (the destruction of the town, massacre, etc.). Walking towards an icebox, he threw it open, took out a few jugs of milk, after checking the expiration date of course, and then proceeded back to the counter, dropped 30 gold to pay for it all, then walked out whistling. The people of the store just watched in awe, as they had stood, or rather crouched like little sissies, in the presence of Kefka Palazzo. 

            Deciding he didn't want to ruin his robes anymore, he went to the docks to take a ferry to Tzen, the city just south of his tower. He didn't have to pay for the ferry. Being looked on upon as god has many privileges. He yawned slightly, realizing that he was still tired from the events of yesterday. He heard from gossip in town that he went to the ruins of the castle of Doma, set fire to it, then went to a pub and got drunk. Kefka, the god of all these pitiful humans, drunk. He couldn't believe it, for he rarely even comes into contact with alcohol. Must've been having too good of a time to care, and it took its toll as he felt a hangover come on. He decided to go to his private room on the ship and take a quick nap. 


End file.
